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Post by Historian on Jun 28, 2009 13:08:41 GMT -5
Three NDN guys were sitting at a table by the concession stand at the Red Earth Pow-Wow in Oklahoma City. One was Kiowa, one was Apache and the other was Lakota. During the course of conversation they began talking about the problems with their wives.
The Kiowa put down his frybread and said, "I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do her own cooking. Well, the first day after I told her, I saw nothing, the second say I saw nothing again. But, on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, an a wonderful dinner was prepared and even had some dessert."
Then the Apache looked up from his corn soup saying, "I sat my wife down and told her, that from now on she would have to do her own shopping, and also do the cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But, on the third day when I came home, the whole house was spotless, and the pantry shelves were filled with groceries."
The Lakota put down his Indian Taco, sat straight up, pushed out his chest and said, "I gave my wife a stern look and told her, that from now on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and house cleaning. Well, the first day I saw nothing. The second day I still saw nothing. But, on the third day, I could see just a little bit out of my left eye."
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Post by Historian on Jun 28, 2009 13:11:02 GMT -5
A tourist family was visiting Pine Ridge Reservation on vacation, when they came upon an old Oglala Lakota man, laying face down in the middle of the road in front of Big Bat's, with his ear pressed firmly aginst the blacktop. The father of the family stopped and asked the old Oglala "What are you doing?"
The old Oglala replied, "A large woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog, in a dented Ford Pickup, heading for Sioux Nation Shopping Center."
"That's amazing," exclaimed the father. "You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground?"
"NO!", said the old Oglala, "They just ran over me five minutes ago!"
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Post by Historian on Jun 28, 2009 13:12:39 GMT -5
A white woman was driving on BIA Hwy 1, west of Mission on the Rosebud Reservation, when she saw a Sicangu Lakota woman walking along the roadside. She pulled over and offered her a lift. The Sicangu woman nodded and got in the passenger side.
They rode in silence for a few miles when the white woman noticed the Sicangu woman frequently glancing at a very large pair of fully beaded moccasins on the seat beside them. Not wanting her to get the wrong idea that she had such big feet, the white woman says, "Oh, I got those for my husband."
The Sicangu woman nods, looks back to the road and quietly says, "Good Trade!"
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Post by Historian on Jun 28, 2009 13:16:03 GMT -5
A Sicangu Lakota from Rosebud Reservation gets pulled over on Pine Ridge Reservation for speeding 88 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.
A Rez Cop for the Oglala Lakota Reservation Tribal Police on Pine Ridge asks for his drivers license and the Sicangu says, "I'm sorry officer, but my license was suspended after my 5th DUI."
The Oglala Rez Cop asks for his registration and the Sicangu says, "It's in the glove compartment, but it's not in my name because I stole this car in White Clay and I killed the woman that owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk, and the gun I used is in the glove compartment."
At this point the Oglala Rez Cop tells the guy to keep his hands in sight and he radios for back-up.
When the Captain of the Oglala Tribal Police shows up, the Rez Cop tells him the story, and the Captain walks up to the Sicangu in the car.
The Oglala Captain asks to see the Sicangu's drivers license and he hands it over and it is valid with the Sicangu's real name and information.
The Oglala Captain asks for the registration and the Sicangu says, "It's in the glove compartment."
The Captain tells him to keep his hands in sight and walks around to the passenger side and opens the glove compartment. There is the registration in the Sicangu's name and everything seems in order.
Next the Oglala Captain asks him to get out and open the trunk. The Sicangu opens the trunk and the only thing there is a spare tire.
At this point the Captain tells the Sicangu what the other Rez Cop had told him. The Sicangu says "I'll bet that lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding too!"
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Post by Historian on Jul 15, 2009 12:59:13 GMT -5
Woodrow Has No Butt, a contestant from Rosebud on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau. If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. If he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. And as he suspected, the Million Dollar Question was no push-over. It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it: A) the condor B) the buzzard C) the cuckoo D) the vulture Woodrow was on the spot. He did not know the answer. He had used up his 50/50 Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was his Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. Woodrow hoped he would not have to use it because his friend was, well, from Pine Ridge. But Woodrow had no alternative. He called his friend and gave him the question and the four choices. His friend from Pine Ridge responded unhesitatingly: 'That's easy.... The answer is C: the cuckoo.' Woodrow had to make a decision and make it fast. He considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that his friend had given him. And considering his friend was from Pine Ridge, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But Woodrow's friend had responded with such confidence, such certainty, that he could not help but be convinced. Crossing his fingers, Woodrow said, 'C: The cuckoo.' 'Is that your final answer?' 'Yes, that is my final answer.' 'That answer is absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!' Three days later, Woodrow hosted a party for his family and friends, including Silas Runs Slow, his friend from Pine Ridge who had helped him win the million dollars. 'Silas, I just don't know how to thank you,' said Woodrow. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?' 'Oh, come on,' said Silas, 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'
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